Delayed Gratification

Yeah, I took the picture above, too. (All of the photos I post at the start of a blog are my own creations, except for the joke ones, or ones I clearly state as someone else's....) It was my attempt, one day in Maui, to get "artsy fartsy" with my photography. It's not award-winning material by any stretch, but I like it.



OK, delayed gratification. You know, one of those traits that, in our fast-paced society, has become harder and harder to deal with/possess. In this age of microwaved meals, TV or internet instant access to at-the-moment news and information....we have become a society who expects everything RIGHT.THIS.MINUTE. Unfortunately, our children are even worse. We have no patience. We want everything RIGHT.NOW. Worse than that, we EXPECT it. We don't know how, or don't want to...wait for anything. Though science and physics and engineering geniuses have helped us get there in many ways....nature itself firmly says NO. So while we can get some things instantaneously, in so many ways no, no we can't. And one thing everyone reading this can't get instantly is that ideal body they want. We all didn't gain this extra weight overnight, and sure as hell we aren't going to lose it overnight, either. I think how we handle that plays a LARGE role in whether we can be ultimately successful, or not.

Can you wait the months, perhaps even a year or more, for your body to catch up to your goals for it? Can you follow your own, individual plan to get there....for as long as it takes for it to happen? Do you have that level of commitment to yourself? Can you sustain your motivation that long? Can you live with the food denials that long? Do you really believe in and can support your newly accepted healthy lifestyle...forever? Can you maintain your newly found level of exercise that long, and beyond? Have you tamed the emotional issues that drive you to over-eat and not stop eating when you know you should? Because if you haven't done all of that...if you aren't committed to YOURSELF to do all of that, long term...this isn't going to succeed. It's not to say you won't have moments of weakness. That you won't be tempted to "fall off the wagon". We are all human, and so of course there are going to be foods and situations that are going to call out to us. To entice us to eat things we know we shouldn't. To succumb to old scenarios that we associate with having to eat unhealthfully at. To the boredom of the routine of either what we eat or what we are doing for exercise. It's how we handle those moments that will define us. Will determine if we have the wherewithal to succeed in our health goals, or whether we will fall short.

Like any addiction, it can be daunting to look at it globally. The amount of weight we have to lose is daunting. The prospect of eating right the rest of our lives can be depressing; it's about giving up what seems to be a way of life, even if we know it hasn't been a 'way of life' that worked for us, really. It's the real fear of not only losing weight, but losing ourself...the way we enjoy our "good times", the way we celebrate, the way we sooth ourselves, the way we COPE. That's very scary stuff. And yet, in our core, we know it hasn't been right. We are unhappy with our very own bodies, and our very own beings. We have disappointed ourselves far worse than any one other person has ever disappointed us. (if for no other reason than because we have to live with ourselves every single moment of every single day.) We are afraid of long-term illnesses and premature death.

So really, as adults, we have to weigh (no pun intended) the two sides. In your left hand, you have improved health. You have a body that is a normal, safe weight. A lifestyle that is completely different than what you have always had. A lifestyle that isn't centered around food anymore. A life that has found emotional balance, and a way to deal with life's difficulties that doesn't have a go-to of food anymore to hide and mask our feelings behind. Who has stepped out of the box and learned and developed new ways of dealing with inner demons. Who has learned to focus celebrations on interactions with people via verbal discourse and activities, rather than on the food we are eating while we do it. It's a life that focuses on our inner thoughts, and facing them and nurturing them rather than burying them with food. It's a life that is more physical active. It's a life filled with pride and accomplishment. All that's in your left hand. In your right hand, is the life path you have been on...carried on into the future. It's using food as your knee-jerk reaction to EVERYTHING that happens, or doesn't happen. Sad? Lonely? Bored? Stressed? Happy? Reach for food to sooth it. Then, wait for the guaranteed reaction of guilt. Because it always is the 'dessert' to whatever you've overeaten. Is always the result to eating too much. Or to unhealthy food. Settle back in and spend all night watching TV. Huff when you have to walk more than a flight of stairs. Or have to walk uphill. Say no to activities your kids, your spouse, or your friends want to do. Refuse to wear bathing suits in the summer. Mourn the types of clothes you'd want to wear, but either can't because they don't make them in your size, or they look like crap when you try them on. Wear only what feels comfortable, instead of what looks good. Worry that today will be the day some awful disease comes to live and stay with you. Fear an early death. Fear passing this all on to your children. Hate your reflection in the mirror instead of enjoying it. Fear your spouse leaving you or cheating on you. Fear that people make fun of you behind your back. Fear living with yourself this way the rest of your life.

Not so tough a decision when put that way, is it? Why can't we, during our weak moments, rationally pull away like that, weigh out our options, and choose wisely? Why do we act immaturely and go with the so-called easy knee-jerk reaction of not caring and just eating/getting/doing what we want, at that moment? Instead of taking the few moments to thoughtfully reflect on our options, the implications of our choices, and making the adult, mature, intelligent choice???

It's something we, as mature adults, need to do. It won't always be easy. We'll have to do it sometimes numerous times a day. But to ever get to where we want to be, months and months from now, and STAY there, we have to do it. We have to stop succumbing to our weakest moments, and grow up and be a responsible adult (just like we want our kids to become!)...and not give in to temptations that will ALWAYS be there, or right around the corner, and eat and live responsibly. Because we are TOO IMPORTANT and worth it to continue to abuse our bodies and our hearts the way we have.

Much love to you. Please, for today, be as kind and responsible to yourself, as you would be to any of your loved ones. Take the little steps today that will promote the type of future you want for yourself. You can't get there in one day, one week, or one month. But the actions you take today, next week, and next month will help define your future. Love yourselves, because you ARE worth it!!!